I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
