dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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