so that wasnt chicken after all
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
