You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Rumble strips road head = magical
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
