Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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