just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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