Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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