...so i touched it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Less talking, more tequila
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
