Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
