dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish i was in the wii world.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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