no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
