Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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