summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
