Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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