i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
