Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
