hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
