everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
