then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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