I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
