Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
