and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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