Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
