did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
