nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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