awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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