i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
