am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize