u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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