So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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