You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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