i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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