You made me cry and you don't even care
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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