Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
