Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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