u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
