Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize