So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
