I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
