you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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