first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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