You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
