Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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