with your own penis?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
