my sisters under your porch take her home
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
