I need help removing her.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
