Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Someone came in the potted fern
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
