weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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