Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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