so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
