Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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