Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
