walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
