you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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