why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize