Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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