and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
