She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
