SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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