oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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