She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
