I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
